Dean reopens her wounds to help others heal

In Luoluo Hong, the observer finds not only a survivor of sexual assault, but also someone who has managed to turn trauma into a useful, and perhaps even inspiring, experience.

Raped at age 18 by an acquaintance following a party, Hong dug deep within herself to translate the initial pain into an opportunity to learn more about herself and about society.

Today, as dean of students at UW–Madison, Hong applies what she has learned in her personal odyssey to help students deal with problems ranging from outright rape to sexual attack to coercion from dear friends. Whatever the situation, Hong is more than willing to reopen her own wounds so that others can make peace with what happened to them.

Q. How did your own experiences with sexual assault help shape the way that you approach your job?

Experiencing sexual assault has made me keenly aware of the ways in which social injustice is propagated and practiced — oftentimes invisibly — both within higher education and in society. For example, we need to stop focusing on the victims and make explicit the agent of the sexual assault. Who is the real problem, anyway?

I also think that I have become sensitized to issues of power and privilege as a result of my sexual assault. I was judged harshly by my peers in college who either felt I was to blame for my own assault or made assumptions about my sexual mores, having no idea about my victimization. Consequently, I try not to rush to judge others, because I wonder if they’ve gone through something that I just don’t know about.

Q. As a survivor of a sexual assault, what insights can you provide faculty and staff who come across sexual assault survivors, including men?

The most important thing to do for anyone is validate the person’s courage for coming forward. Ask her or him what they want to have happen as a result of telling you about the assault. Do they just want you to listen, or do they want to pursue options of recourse? Far too often, the listener is spending time evaluating whether or not the experience related really is a sexual assault.

The same things we would do to encourage anyone to come forward will allow male victims to feel safe, too. However, since most men (regardless of their sexual orientation) are assaulted by other men (regardless of their sexual orientation), we need to be aware of ways in which homophobia — Madison is not immune to this disease — may serve as a barrier to men disclosing a sexual assault. Because there are so many “silent” victims out there, it is critical that we are always aware of potentially offensive language, jokes and the overall climate on campus in the areas of sexism, homophobia, violence and racism.

Q. What specifically needs to happen to reduce and eliminate sexual assault?

As I said before, we need to stop focusing on the victims. Statistics always are stated in terms of victims: “One in eight female students at UW–Madison will be the victim of a sexual assault.” But what about the perpetrators — where are the statistics on them?

Right now, it’s as if perpetrators are invisible in discussions about rape. We need to stop saying, “Nobody deserves to be raped. Nobody asks to be raped. But if you do this, this and this you can avoid getting raped.” That’s a contradiction.

Researchers who identify personality and situational correlation of becoming a victim imply, falsely, that rape can be avoided by potential victims changing their behavior. Why can’t we talk about what the perpetrators should stop doing? When we talk about homicide, we don’t talk about what potential homicide victims can do to avoid getting shot. We hold the murderer accountable, and we talk about ways to stop them from killing again. When we ignore the agency of sexual assault, we fail to acknowledge the fact they are the only individuals who have the true power and ability to stop sexual assault.

I don’t believe that all men are potential rapists, nor do I believe that most men believe rape myths. However, men comprise more than 95 percent of sexual assault perpetrators. They should be empowered to become part of the solution.